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Capricorn's montly Outlook in 2007 according to the
Tipsy Astrologer

Get a Jump on Your Social Scene
- Carol Robinson, Contributing Editor

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

March 2007

Who doesn’t dream of winning millions of dollars in the lottery?

I’m sure you can quickly list the number of things you would do with sudden wealth. Among the items would be new homes, cars, vacations, fine dining, and best of all, never worrying about money again. Or so you’d think.

It may surprise you that one third of all lottery winners go bankrupt within a few years after winning the jackpot.

Is poor financial planning the culprit? Obviously. Are these folks stupid? Sure, but many winners are educated, just like you. Many have a serious gambling addiction (the lottery is gambling, after all) and blow it all on future wagering.

For many, it’s just hard to get your head around a sudden windfall. The change was too sudden and far too easy. And you know what they say… “easy come, easy go.”

Believe me when I tell you that you will experience some unexpected luck this month. So unexpected, and so easy, that you may not even notice until you look back and say, “Wow, that was lucky.”

So, your drink for this month is “Feelin’ Lucky”. http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink7702.html
And if you win the lottery, don’t spend it all in one place. Oh, and always remember your favorite astrologer.

February 2007

“The first time that I appeared on stage, it scared me to death. I really didn’t know what all the yelling was about. I didn’t realize that my body was moving. It’s a natural thing to me. So to the manager backstage I said, ‘What’d I do? What’d I do?’ And he said, ‘Whatever it is, go back and do it again.’”
-Elvis Presley, Capricorn, born January 8, 1935

Elvis didn’t think about what he was doing when he originated his signature hip gyrations that drove women crazy. Who would have thought that it came from deep within, a result of his initial uneasiness of being onstage? Sort of like a nervous tick.

These days, a natural response will get you further than a forced one. Rely on your intuition instead of logic and success will follow. Later, you will look back on it as a happy accident.

Remember “The King” by celebrating one of his fun films. Start with a little guilty pleasure called “Blue Hawaii”. Watch the movie while you sip the drink of the same name…

October 2006

After a few years in the limelight, your fellow Capricorn David Bowie wrote the familiar lyrics on fame…

“Fame makes a man take things over
Fame lets him loose, hard to swallow
Fame puts you there where things are hollow”

He must have been disillusioned with life as a rock star. If so, I wonder what made him that way. No matter what degree of success you have, please remember the following…

“Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.” 
-Author Unknown

Imagine you’re the glam Ziggy Stardust while enjoying none other than… a Stardust!

September 2006

There’s an old story of a poor Scottish farmer named Fleming heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He found a terrified boy stuck in the mud, which was like quicksand. Fleming pulled the boy out, saving him what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a nobleman arrived at the farm and introduced himself as the boy’s father. In return for saving his son’s life, he offered to provide a good education for Fleming’s son, Alexander. Years later, Alexander Fleming graduated from medical school in London, and went on to discover Penicillin.

Like Fleming, you now have the opportunity to help someone who is now experiencing the equivalent of being stuck in the mud. If you do, the ripple effect of your good deed will be larger than you imagine.

There’s more to the story. The nobleman’s son grew up to be the notable Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, Sir Winston Churchill. During World War II, Churchill’s speeches upheld the British “stiff upper lip.” Before the war ended, he contracted pneumonia. Penicillin probably saved his life, as well as the morale of the country during its darkest hour.

Soothe what ails ya with a nice Hot Churchill.

August 2006

Your motto this month: Nothing worthwhile is easy.

In the myth of Jason and the Argonauts, Jason and his crew set sail on their ship Argo, in search of the Golden Fleece. As with many mythical journeys, their route was fraught with many obstacles, among them two rocks called the Symplegades, which crashed together upon any ship passing between them.

Now, the Argonauts had rid the king of the Harpies, nasty birds with the heads of women who ruined the ruler’s dinner every night by, well, pooping on his plate. Ewe… now that’s what I call an effective diet!

Anyway, now that the king could enjoy his food again, he showed his gratitude by warning the Argonauts of the danger of the crashing rocks. He suggested inducing a bird to pass between the crashing rocks first, causing them to clash together, allowing their ship to follow quickly behind, and passing through safely before they were ready to snap shut again. They followed his advice, and the ship was able to pass between them, avoiding major damage.

This story holds a message for you, Capricorn. No one is handing out easy solutions, but there is someone who can point you in the right direction. All you have to do is rid them of a little shit.

This month, any liquor will do for you. As long as it’s on the rocks.

July 2006

Communications between you and at least one other person has been difficult and confusing, to say the least. Knowing where you stand with you-know-who is about as easy as getting hold of a slippery bar of soap in the bathtub.

In the hilarious 1983 movie “Trading Places”, Louis Windthorp III, a snobby broker (played by Dan Ackroyd) is tricked into trading lives with Billy Ray Valentine, a poor con artist (played by Eddie Murphy). When taken down a few pegs, Windthorpe is transformed from a puffed-up preppy to a real human being. Valentine is also changed by his experience in the wealthy world.

You, Capricorn, can now do the same. I’m not suggesting that you physically switch places with someone, but it would help if you put yourself in the other person’s shoes. By understanding where they’re coming from, you’ll gain insight into their motivations. Suddenly, you’ll know what to do next.

With any luck, by the end of the month, you’ll be sailing along with sweet and frosty Pina Coladas like Windthorpe and Valentine at the end of the movie. After cornering the market on orange juice, of course.


June 2006

In the Doctor Dolittle novels, imaginative author Hugh Lofting introduced a fictional animal called a pushmi-pullyu (pronounced “push me, pull you.”) It had two heads, one at each end of its body; each one believing it was in the front. If he was always working against himself, it was impossible for the animal to get anywhere.

And there you are… in your own seemingly uncompromising situation. You have difficult choices to make. The answer may be in the simple children’s book. When the two heads of the pushmi-pullyu compromised, they became indispensable. Not only could they physically move when they took turns moving backwards, but they discovered that if they alternated their sleep, they were effectively awake around the clock.

Remember that compromise does not equal loss. Stroll into your pub, sit down and order and Black & Tan while you negotiate the terms.

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