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Gemini's montly Outlook in 2007 according to the
Tipsy Astrologer

Get a Jump on Your Social Scene
- Carol Robinson, Contributing Editor

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

March 2007

Let’s talk about irrational fears and phobias, two in particular.

You’ve probably heard of Claustrophobia, the anxiety disorder which is defined fear of confined spaces. On the other hand, Agoraphobia is the fear of open spaces.

These phobias may sound like opposites, but they are quite similar. Both involve fear of being trapped.

Those who suffer from Claustrophobia feel trapped when they are in a room with no exit. People with Agoraphobia often prefer not to leave the house because they are afraid of finding themselves in a situation from which there is no escape.

Which of these phobias are hampering you these days? As a versatile Gemini, it’s also possible that you suffer from both of them. Whatever the case, it’s time to loose your fear, because it is internal fear, not external forces that are imprisoning you.

Empower yourself. Fear isn’t working for you. Quiet your mind. Stop frantically searching for the exit and the door will appear. If the walls begin to close in, paint them a different color. Just be sure it’s a hue you can live with for a while.

Here’s the only fear you need... and Absolute Fear. It’s supposed to be pretty good! http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink1t2s528.html

February 2007

One evening, several years ago, I was a passenger on a Metroliner traveling between New York and Washington, DC. The train was slicing through the darkness somewhere in Maryland when suddenly we heard a loud bang followed by debris smashing into the windows. It was pretty scary. The whole train shook, then rattled to a stop.

Eventually, it was announced that we had hit a refrigerator, probably left on the tracks by mischievous kids. Fortunately, no one was hurt. The train engine, however, was not so lucky. We waited for over two hours while the crippled engine was removed and replaced.

Although it may not be as dramatic, expect a few problems getting places. You are usually the master of multitasking, but this month will offer monumental distractions (many of them in the form of very enjoyable temptations!). Anything can happen. You may fail to find the right word in the middle of a meeting, get caught daydreaming, or suffer from a hangover at a most inconvenient time. It’s just temporary, so try to laugh it off.

Your drink of the month: Loose Caboose

Your motto: “My train of thought just derailed.”

October 2006

If your love life has been flat lined, get ready for a big change because things are about to improve. Something or someone is charging up the paddles and will make your heart beat once again.

Just remember this quote from the 1987 film “Moonstruck”…

“…love don't make things nice - it ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren't here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us.”

Love doesn’t always come in neat little packages. What is perfect for others isn’t perfect for you and vice-versa. Recognize the beauty that others have overlooked and dreams that you had long since given up will come true.

What’s going to heat you up for coming attractions? Foreplay on Neutral Ground, of course!

September 2006

The first Tacoma Narrows Bridge, more commonly known as “Galloping Gertie” buckled and collapsed on November 7, 1940, only four months after it was completed. If you’ve never seen the footage of the rolling and twisting structure, you owe it to yourself to find it. It seems that its design would not withstand the crosswinds and is held up as a shining example of what not to do when designing a suspension bridge.

The bridge’s designer, Clark Eldridge, called it “his bridge.” Although there were no human casualties in the collapse, he was devastated by the mishap and was largely blamed for the bridge's failure.

The truth was that Eldridge had designed a bridge that would have withstood the wind but was altered because the state lacked funds to build his design. The replacement bridge, known as “Sturdy Gertie,” was completed in 1950 on the foundation that Eldridge engineered, and was more like his original plan.

So here’s the message for you… before you let your ideas fly, be sure they have the same quality and integrity that your original plan had. Let others lend a hand. Then, let it take off. It (and you) will surely soar.

To remind you to keep your plans from being watered down… Manhattan, Martini, just make it straight up!

August 2006

It may seem that there’s a huge boulder blocking your path. You can’t get around it or over it. Perhaps you can’t even see past it.

Hoodoo is folk magic largely practiced in the southeastern United States. Those who practice it cast spells to gain power, attract love or even to curse their enemies. The success of the spell depends largely on the belief of the “victim.” The power of the Hoodoo spell is largely psychological warfare, as its target believes that they are under a curse and therefore responds as if they were. This is what makes the spell a success. If the object of the spell doesn’t buy into the “faith,” the spell will allegedly lose its power.

This brings me back to your situation, Gem. That obstacle in your path isn’t what you think it is. Actually, it’s smaller than you imagine and it’s also possible that it’s not there at all. But you have built it up in your mind as insurmountable.

What is it? FEAR.

All you need is a little faith to empower you. Please don’t let fear block your way to the success you deserve. There’s little to loose and so much to gain if you just believe that you are bigger than the obstacle that you’ve built up in your mind.

My advice is to do whatever you need to feel powerful again. Suddenly, you will see the obstacle for what it really is… a tiny pebble that you can easily step right over.

Brew up a Magic Punch to bring back your mojo. Get the recipe at http://www.webtender.com/db/drink/5564

July 2006

The couple who bought the $20 bill with the Del Monte banana sticker on it. They just turned down an offer for $250,000.

Don’t despair, the situation is not hopeless. Somewhere in your life, there is an untapped resource. Maybe the following story will inspire you…

In 2003, an Ohio college student made an ATM withdrawal and found that one of his $20 bills had a Del Monte sticker, the kind that you find on bananas, stuck to it. He auctioned it on eBay for $10,000.

The buyer then resold the “Del Monte note” for over $25,000 to a Texas currency collector. Why would $25,000 for a $20 bill? What made it so special?

It seems that the banana sticker, which appears next to the portrait of Andrew Jackson, is overlaid with the US Treasury seal and the serial number of the bill, so it was affixed at the US Treasury printing plant in Fort Worth. This currency flaw is known to currency aficionados as a “retained obstruction.” It somehow got passed the inspector.

It was recently reported that as much as $250,000 has recently been offered for the “Del Monte note”.

You, Gemini, are in a similar situation. Inventory your treasures while sipping a Banana Daiquiri. It’s time to cash in.


June 2006

Please bear with me while I begin your forecast with a biblical quote…

Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding. Proverbs 17:28

And now allow me to quote Mark Twain on the same subject…

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

Even though Mr. Twain wasn’t the first to say it, he certainly made it easier to swallow. This is a perfect example of repackaging a great concept so that others can understand and accept it. These days, everyone is not only watching you, but they’re listening as well, so present your words carefully. When you feel a verbal explosion coming on, pop a tic-tac in your mouth.

Gemini, this month, you’re better off with anything that keeps you quiet. Keep your tongue busy with Jello Shots. Any color. Any flavor.

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