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Leo's montly Outlook in 2007 according to the
Tipsy Astrologer

Get a Jump on Your Social Scene
- Carol Robinson, Contributing Editor

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

March 2007

During the early 80’s, I was a fan of the TV series “The Love Boat”. The characters, guests on the ship, bronzed themselves in the tropical sun while they sipped exotic drinks from huge hurricane glasses (made of real glass) served with a smile and by Isaac the bartender, complete with a tiny florescent-colored paper umbrella and tasty-looking tropical fruit. And the food, my god, the food! They feasted nightly on sumptuous dinners, including, of course, the midnight buffet. Everyone dressed up in evening gowns and tuxedos. I dreamed of taking a cruise and enjoying the same luxuries.

In 1989, my dream came true when I went on my first cruise. It was everything I expected… perhaps even more.

Over a decade later, I decided to treat myself to another cruise. I booked with the same cruise line and looked forward to the same experience I had the first time.

Boy… was I disappointed.

The lovely glass hurricane umbrella drinks were served in the same cheap plastic cups as a frat house would have at a keg party and garnished with toothpick-stabbed fruit that had seen better days (many days, by the looks of it). Few guests dressed up, let alone show up for dinner, which did not feature the beautifully presented gourmet meals I remembered from my first cruise. And the mind-blowing impressive nightly midnight buffet? Lost at sea, apparently.

As I tried to stay positive, I couldn’t help but notice that few of my fellow passengers noticed or cared about the decrease of quality on the cruise. Then it occurred to me that the cruise line most likely discovered this long ago. Why should they go to the expense and effort of impressing someone who wouldn’t know the difference?

It seems that you are in a similar situation. You would be wise not to waste your energy and resources trying to impress someone with low expectations. Save it for someone with more discriminating taste.
Meanwhile, please yourself with the best of everything. What’s your pleasure? Fine French Champagne? Kentucky Bourbon? Treat yourself.

February 2007

There’s a funny commercial these days featuring two football players on the field. One of them is fuzzy. The other one says to him, “You know we’re supposed to be in high def, right?”

That’s pretty much how things will progress for you this month. You’ll feel as if you’re dealing with a bunch of watery characters that seem like they were painted by the impressionist painter Monet. Do you need a new set of contacts? Probably not. It’s just an optical illusion.

Just know that this too shall pass. Hang in there. Your vision should improve after awhile. After learning how to get around in the fog, you’ll be an expert at finding your way when things are clear again.

Until then, enjoy a Fog Cutter Cocktail. Get the recipe at http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/

October 2006

The Maize Quest Fun Park in New Park, Pennsylvania boasts “the largest collection of people sized mazes in the world.” Visitors enjoy winding their way through mazes of fence, rope, stone, turf, corn, straw, tiles, bamboo, earth mounds and even invisible dog fencing.

Sounds fun, right? Sure… unless you’re actually trying to get from point A to point B in the most direct way possible.

After running into one dead end after another, now you’re getting somewhere. You had to take the long way, but your goals seem possible, the ideas flow or you get some recognition for your efforts. Yay!

Come on up out of the dark. A Suddenly Daylight is good anytime!

September 2006

One of my favorite chick-flick is “Under the Tuscan Sun.” To escape the depths of depression following her divorce, Frances vacations in Tuscany. On a whim, she buys a villa and begins her new life.

But it’s not easy for her to begin anew. Although Frances made a huge change in her life, she couldn’t shake the pain of her broken marriage. It was preventing her from moving forward, and filling her with regret. This leads me to one of my favorite lines from the film, from the free-spirited character, Katherine…

“Regrets are a waste of time. They're the past crippling you in the present.”

Remember this when you feel your own regret creeping up on you. There will be moments during the next few weeks that remind you of your past mistakes. Please don’t let them make you doubt your self-worth. Use this month to shake off those regrets.

Celebrate life with a nice Italian… and a glass of Chianti wouldn’t hurt either!

August 2006

I have to hand it to you lions. Even when life is a nightmere, you know how to turn it into a dream. The trick for you this month is to know the difference between fantasy and reality. By the end of the month you’ll feel your life is back on track instead of off the rails.

As the sun shines on you this August, I offer you this quote from “A Midsummer’s Night Dream” (Shakespeare alert!)…

“While these visions did appear
And this weak and idle theme
no more yielding but a dream
Gentles, do not reprehend
If you pardon, we will mend
And, as I am an honest Puck
If we have unearned luck
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue
We will make amends ere long
Else the Puck a liar call
So good night unto you all.”

Your recent chance at a fresh start has now brought you an opportunity to renew or repair relationships. Including the one with yourself. You can now begin new ones. Real ones. Important ones. You know… the kind that last.

Believe it or not, there’s a rather potent strawberry-laced drink called A Midsummernight Dream. Try it! http://www.webtender.com/db/drink/2560

July 2006

Uh oh. Just when you thought you got it together, had it all down and found the right words to express yourself, you find yourself sucked through the vortex. You’re back in the state of confusion. Is it The Twilight Zone? You can almost hear the rolling musical notes of the theme and Rod Sterling’s voice…

“You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead - your next stop, the Twilight Zone!”

How do you deal with this? Here are some guidelines…

- First of all, remember that trying to force anything to happen will result in frustration. And I’m talking major headaches. Go with the flow.

- Nothing is what is seems. Any moments of clarity you experience is probably a mirage, so don’t make any big life altering decisions.

- Try to avoid confrontations with moose, bears or wolves.

- To remind you that you’re in the black vortex of The Twilight Zone, drink a Dark and Stormy. You’ll love it.


June 2006

In some area of your life, you need to feel that you are getting ahead. Lately, however, the faster you go, the less progress you make. In his coming-of-age novel, The Last Open Road, Burt Levy paints a colorful and nostalgic picture of open-road racing in the 1950’s. Here’s a wonderful quote from this fun read:

“Why, of course. It’s the bloody cars that win races,” he said matter-of-factly. The drivers can only lose them…”

This month, you’re roaring through life negotiating curves like a Ferrari. You have a dream vehicle, and the attitude to match. It’s tempting to take a shortcut. Why not? You’ve gone that route before. While this is true, the stars suggest that you’ll have to swerve around even more obstacles. Like stop signs.

Your drink for the month is a Manhattan. It goes perfect with gridlock.

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