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Libra's montly Outlook in 2007 according to the
Tipsy Astrologer

Get a Jump on Your Social Scene
- Carol Robinson, Contributing Editor

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

March 2007

A statue of William Penn sits on top of Philadelphia’s city hall like a lone figurine atop a wedding cake. His likeness watches over the city of brotherly love, mostly unnoticed by citizens and visitors who pass close to the building. If it were alive it would probably see all. And what if it could talk?

“It is wise not to seek a secret; and honest, not to reveal one.”
-William Penn (born October 14, 1644), Quaker, Founder of Pennsyvania and Libran.

Secrets come in all flavors and sizes. Talk about variety… big juicy bombshells or tiny tasty tidbits; hidden deep or oddly obvious; harmful or just plain amusing.

No matter what kind of secret it is, they all have one thing in common. They fall into a completely different category if shared. When a secret is revealed, it is no longer a secret.

About your secret… I have news for you. They know. How do you feel about that?

I suppose that depends on the flavor of your secret. Or is it still a secret? At any rate, you’ll find out soon.

Or have you been spilling the beans on someone else?

What to drink? Something appropriate for you. How about a Victoria’s Secret Cocktail? http://cocktails.about.com/od/

February 2007

I recently enjoyed a quiet evening out with a friend. Well, mostly quiet. At one point, we were repeatedly interrupted by a loud moron who was vying for our attention with clumsy comments that don’t bear repeating. We ignored him and he eventually retreated to the safety of his friends.

Later that night, he spotted us as we were leaving and shouted out what I’m sure he believed were clever comments. I considered responding when something even better happened. Having had enough of his rude display, his “friends” began to step away, physically distancing themselves from him. I suppose they were avoiding guilt by association. I also suspect that this was the last time he was invited to join them in a night out on the town.

By now you should realize that your alignment with something or someone whose questionable reputation has been rubbing off on you. It’s time to re-evaluate the wisdom of where you have placed your support. Face the facts. It may be wise to separate yourself from a questionable situation.

Make a new friend. “Amigo” (Spanish for “friend”) and is also a delicious concoction that won’t disappoint you. http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink5078.html

October 2006

Are you familiar with “Let’s Make a Deal”? For those of you who are not, it was a fun and wacky game show whose contestants dressed in wacky costumes.

When the show debuted in 1963, the contestants wore regular street clothes. They were chosen from the audience for the opportunity to win big prizes. One day someone came dressed in a chicken costume and was quickly noticed and picked out of the many contenders. After that, it became the norm to dress in costume to stand out in the crowd.

Now is the time to be brave enough to make a fool of yourself and show your true face. If you do, you will be seen as innovative rather than foolish. And if you don’t? Well, all I can say is that your chickens will come home to roost.

You’ll be making deals after a shot of Funky Chicken (1 part Tequila and 1 part Wild Turkey). Think that’s fowl? Perhaps Liquid Courage is your thing…

September 2006

The myth of the Trojan prince Paris, who was obliged to judge which goddess was the most beautiful… Hera, Athene or Aphrodite.

To sweeten the deal, and bribe the judge, each of the three goddesses offered Paris a reward if he would choose them as the winner. Hera, queen of the Gods, said he could rule the world. Athene, goddess of justice, would make him the mightiest of all warriors. Aphrodite, goddess of sensual love, promised him the most beautiful mortal woman in the world.

Paris was a frisky young man who went for physical satisfaction and cast his vote with Aphrodite. The other two goddesses, angry with him, vowed that Paris’ kingdom of Troy would be destroyed.

Paris’ choice was Helen, queen of Sparta, and unfortunately someone else’s wife. When she left Sparta for the Trojan prince, it sparked the Trojan War, which eventually led to the downfall of Troy as Hera and Athene promised.

Have you chosen wisely? You are about to find out. Sip a sensual Tatooed Love Goddess in honor of Paris’ dubious choice. Get the recipe here http://www.webtender.com/db/drink/2916

August 2006

Pride, Greed, Lust, Anger, Gluttony, Envy and Sloth… that’s right, we’re talking about the seven deadly sins.

Yeah, baby.

During one of my research sessions, I came upon a website called deadlysins.com, which makes the connection between the seven deadly sins and the characters from the series “Gilligan’s Island”…

Pride - the Professor
Greed - Mr. Howell
Lust - Ginger
Anger - Mrs. Howell
Gluttony - the Skipper
Envy - Mary Ann
Sloth – Gilligan

Here’s what the website says…

“In 1965, the American public was first treated to the whimsical story of Gilligan and six other hapless castaways, trapped on a small Pacific island after their pleasure cruise ends in a violent shipwreck... the island's inhabitants attempted to leave the island by broadcasting radio messages, sending smoke signals, repairing the Minnow, building a raft, and fixing a deep diving suit to permit Gilligan to walk along the ocean floor back to Hawaii…Yet the castaways were strangely unable to get off the island, apparently doomed to spend eternity in each other's company…. In fact, what seemed to be perfectly disarming, if somewhat frustrating, situation comedy was a representation of a Sartre-like nether-world in which the characters represent the Seven Deadly Sins, forced in the days after Armageddon…to live in unceasing torment with each other.”

Hmmm… what’s your favorite character/deadly sin?

While you ponder your answer, drink an Original Sin. Better yet, have seven. http://www.webtender.com/db/drink/2224

July 2006

We’ve all heard the expression, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” True. But in your heart, you know that something isn’t working. You may not be able to think of what it is, but something doesn’t feel right. The gears are grinding in different directions and you are unsure how to deal with it. Life is not running smoothly. Like a sour note in the middle of an otherwise flawless performance.

You can go along, accepting things as they are. It’s your option. But you’d be kidding yourself if you say that you believe life is the best it can possibly be. But this would be a little like dairy that’s just a wee bit past its expiration date. Hey, that’s fine if you like your milk a little chewy.

Take the movie “Back to the Future” for example. Marty went back in time, made a mess, cleaned it up, and then returned to the future to find that he had inadvertently made his family life better. Life was better than he ever dreamed.

We all know that we can’t physically go back in time and change the direction of our lives. But you now have a similar chance to fix something that went wrong in the past and improve not only your future, but that of whom you value most. Make it right. Fix something that before now, you didn’t consciously know was broken.

While you are working on a fresh start, how about a nice minty Mojito?


June 2006

In the 1988 film Bull Durham, your fellow Libran Susan Sarandon asks Kevin Costner what he believes. He responds with one of the most memorable comebacks in celluloid history:

“Well, I believe in the soul…the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.”

Oh my. That got her attention. But that’s reel life. In real life, Sarandon actually hooked up with her other Bull Durham co-star, Tim Robbins, and they’re still together after all these years. Want longevity? Look beyond pretty words and empty promises.

Sit back and enjoy the game. And what goes better with peanuts and Cracker Jack than a nice cold beer. Now, that’s a homerun!

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