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Sagittarius' montly Outlook in 2007 according to the
Tipsy Astrologer

Get a Jump on Your Social Scene
- Carol Robinson, Contributing Editor

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

March 2007

I’d like to point out a few names that are getting a lot of attention in the news lately…

Anna Nicole Smith, Howard K. Stern, Britney Spears. What do they all have in common? They were all born under the sign of Sagittarius.

Obviously, these people are extreme cases, but the same thing is going on with you, on a smaller scale. I’m talking about reputation. Use these fellow archers as a shining example of what NOT to do under the current cosmic climate.

You may not realize it, but the spotlight is shining on you these days. So what if the paparazzi aren’t chasing you and photographing every move you make. Your name may not be mentioned on Entertainment Tonight every five minutes. But please keep in mind that you are being watched. So act accordingly.

Underwear is good.

Which libation is best for you these days? Captain and Coke? Sure! Dirty Martini? Absolutely! If you hear the word “Intervention,” just run the other way. And for god’s sake… think twice before shaving your head

February 2007

The dandelion is generally regarded by landscapers as a vile weed, a yellow blemish on an otherwise perfectly manicured lawn.

Not me. I’m fascinated by dandelions. Consider their color… their petals are thin strands that burst in most cheerful yellow imaginable. The bright flower resembles a miniature sun.

The strong root of the dandelion goes deep into the earth, as far as a foot and a half, and will regenerate if not completely removed. Few humans are able display this kind of strength.

Many are unaware of the benefits of dandelions. The root is a registered drug in Canada, valued as a diuretic. Its leaves are edible and contain more iron than spinach.

I use the dandelion as an example of something or someone in your life. You can benefit from something that you currently regard as a weed. Adjust your perspective and you’ll realize that you have a valuable resource right in your own backyard.

There’s one more use for dandelions. Their flowers make an interesting wine. Look for it at the liquor store, or make your own. There are plenty of recipes at http://winemaking.jackkeller.net/dandelion.asp.

October 2006

Three friends are stranded on a desert island, and a bottle washes up on the shore. When they uncork the bottle, a genie appears and offers each of them a wish. The first wishes to be taken to Paris. The genie snaps his fingers, and the man suddenly finds himself standing in front of the Eiffel Tower. The second man wishes that he were in Hollywood, and with a snap of the genie's fingers, he finds himself on a movie set. The third man, now alone on the island, looks around and says, "I wish my friends were back."

Our wishes sometimes conflict with those of others. Want to be sure your wishes come true? Wish for the best for everyone as well as yourself.

Now… count your blessings and make a wish!

While thinking of your fondest desire for you and your best buddies, have a shot of Three Stages of Friendship…

September 2006

In the fairy tale “The Three Little Pigs” each of the little hogs build homes, one of straw, one of sticks, and one of bricks. Then they got an unexpected dinner guest.

The Big Bad Wolf, apparently in the mood for some pork, went to the first little pig’s house, the one made of straw. He knocked on the door and said, "Little pig, little pig, let me come in." And the little pig answered, "No, no, I won't let you come in, not by the hair on my chinny chin chin."

You remember what happened next… "then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in." And the wolf proceded to do just that.

Then he repeated the scene with the pig who lived in the house of sticks, and blew that house down as well. He could not, however, blow down the brick house.

If your living arrangement is just as strong, you’ll weather the coming month just fine. And if you find that this month shakes your walls? In the future you’ll see that it taught you to build a stronger foundation that will make you feel more secure.

Have a beer… it goes great with barbequed pork ribs!

August 2006

One of our founding fathers, Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) accomplished more in one lifetime than many others in ten. A self-made man, he made his fortune in printing and publishing. He developed a way to print paper currency that deterred counterfitting. His inventions included the Franklin stove, lightning rod, swimfins and bifocals. He founded the first public library and fire company and served as the first Postmaster General.

As if that weren’t enough, Franklin, fluent in five languages, was a diplomat and the American Minister to Paris. He also founded what was to become the University of Pennsylvania as well as Franklin and Marshall College. I suppose it was in his spare time that he conducted his famous electicity experiment with a kite and a key.

He could play the violin, harp and guitar. He even developed the glass armonica, whose hypnotic tones sounded like someone playing water glasses. Oh, yes, one more thing. Franklin practiced astrology, as published in his “Poor Richard’s Almanc”.

As successful and accomplished as he was, Franklin remained a humble man. Although he had the right to do so, he never patented any of his inventions. He signed his name, “B. Franklin, printer”.

You would do especially well to adopt Franklin’s success as an inspiration. What could he have accomplished if he lived in these times? Hopefully, he wouldn’t have been distracted, blogging all day on the internet.

No entry on a prolific and wise writer like Franklin would be complete without a quote from the man…
“Sloth, like Rust, consumes faster than Labour wears, while the used Key is always bright.”

Conduct your own electrical experiment by sipping on a White Lightening. Get the recipe at http://www.webtender.com/db/drink/2589

July 2006

Aretha Franklin belted out the following musical phrase…

Find out what it means to me…”

Most of us think of respect only as something we receive. Too often, we forget that we have the capacity to respect ourselves. Funny thing about respect… the more we try to attain it, the less we receive.

If we buy expensive stuff to impress everybody, we get envy. If we grab the spotlight instead of letting it find us, we get attention. None of this should be confused with respect.

You may want to reconsider that expensive purchase of that Lear jet, Elephant man skeleton or Chrysler Building.

How do you define self-worth? Don’t measure success on what others have or think of you. Give yourself a gift this month. Be true to yourself. Then watch the real thing pour in from everyone around you. After all, if you can’t respect yourself, how can you expect it of others?

Let’s toast to you, with fine champagne, as we ponder a quote from one of your fellow Sagittarians, writer Joan Didion…

“To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves… there lies the great, singular power of self-respect.”


June 2006

Here’s an excerpt from The Art of War by Sun-tzu that probably describes your current state of mind…

“Thus the victorious army is like a ton compared with an ounce, while the defeated army is like an ounce weighed against a ton! The combat of the victorious is like the sudden release of a pent-up torrent down a thousand-fathom gorge. This is the strategic disposition of force.”

Sun-tzu’s goal was total victory and complete elimination of the enemy. So is yours. You know what you want and you feel that you’ll stop at nothing to get it. I suppose there’s nothing wrong with using good old-fashioned warfare to achieve your goals. Just be sure what you’re pointing that thing when you use your most powerful ammunition. You wouldn’t want to destroy resources (or relationships) you’ll need later.

So, what is your weapon of choice, my little warlord… Kamikaze, Jägerbomb, B-52 or an Irish Car Bomb?

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