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Taurus' montly Outlook in 2007 according to the
Tipsy Astrologer

Get a Jump on Your Social Scene
- Carol Robinson, Contributing Editor

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

March 2007

Earthquake liquefaction occurs when soft earth, like sand, is shaken. It becomes quicksand. If a structure is built on soft earth, damage is severe because there is nothing to support its foundation.

Some friendships fall apart over the smallest things. Others last a lifetime, no matter how much it is shaken. Like buildings, they need a strong foundation to survive.

Your environment is about to be infused with new people. You may think that there won’t be any room for your old friends. Trust that if they have your best interests at heart, they will continue to fit in you your life.

“There is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for Hope, and there is nothing he wouldn't do for me ... We spend our lives doing nothing for each other.”
-Bing Crosby, singer, actor, Taurean …and Bob Hope’s friend.

Get your friends together, old and new, and sip some Blood and Sand Cocktails. Here’s the recipe http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink6878.html

February 2007

“That's all you need in life, a little place for your stuff. That's all your house is: a place to keep your stuff. If you didn't have so much stuff, you wouldn't need a house. You could just walk around all the time. A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it.” -quoted from “A Place for my Stuff” by George Carlin, actor, comedian and Taurean, born May 12, 1937. Read the entire piece at

Let’s talk about your stuff. Sometimes we collect so much of it, that it becomes unmanageable. Do you feel as if you are buried under a deep pile of stuff?

And why are you buying more stuff?

Or maybe you’re feeling the weight of responsibility because you’re carrying around someone else’s stuff. Whatever the cause, you’ll feel better if you figure out a way to lighten your load.

Maybe it’s time for a Yard Sale. Here’s the recipe: http://www.cocktail.com/recipes/y/YardSale.htm

October 2006

When I was a kid, I wouldn’t eat seafood. I found the very thought of anything from the sea passing through my lips absolutely repulsive. My meals consisted of burgers and dogs.

Then one evening when I was about ten years old, my father persuaded me to try a tiny bite of lobster. It was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted. This introduction ended my existence as a culinary landlubber.

I hope this inspires you to try something different. Your relationship, or lack thereof, with something or someone is robbing you of joy. It’s time to bravely try a new experience. Before you know it, that knot in your stomach will disappear.

To remind you to take the plunge, try a Fishbone…

September 2006

Bruce Springsteen rocked stadiums in the mid-1980’s with the following lines…

“You can't start a fire sitting 'round crying over a broken heart
This gun's for hire
Even if we're just dancing in the dark
You can't start a fire worrying about your little world falling apart
This gun's for hire
Even if we're just dancing in the dark”

Your world has been rockin’ relatively carefree lately, and everything looks pretty good in the dark. But eventually it’s closing time and someone turns on the lights. Then the sun comes up. And life just doesn’t look the same in the glaring light of day.

Not to worry, the good times always come around again. Meanwhile, you need a wee bit of optimism. And little hair of the dog wouldn’t hurt either.

Bloody Mary anyone? How about a Red Bull and Vodka…

August 2006

Let’s talk about security. You know… those things that make you feel safe.

When we’re children, we often have possessions that we cling to as if life depended on it. Take little Linus Van Pelt from the “Peanuts” comic strip. He carried that blue blanket around. The term “security blanket” was coined after his character first appeared with it in 1954.

Linus was extremely advanced for his young age. The philosopher of the Peanuts gang, he reasoned complex ideas and quoted scripture. He outsmarted Lucy, his bossy older sister, who often tried to relieve him of his blanket habit. And he always pitched a baseball better than Charlie Brown.

And yet, with all this talent and intellect, he still clung to his blanket.

This brings me to you, because you are now in a similar situation. There is something that you no longer need that you are holding on to, clinging to or carrying around. Maybe you once needed it because it made you feel safe. But things are different now. You no longer need it because you possess something far more useful to your security. If you’re faced with a decision this month, it may be safer to let go and take a risk.

I’ll leave you with a quote that Nicholas Cage delivered to your fellow Taurus Cher in the 1987 movie “Moonstruck”…

“Playing it safe is just about the most dangerous thing… you could do.”

After a few Peanut Butter and Jelly shots you won’t miss your security blanket. Get the recipe at http://www.webtender.com/db/drink/1593

July 2006

Let’s begin your forecast by taking a look at the classic 1939 film “The Wizard of Oz”. After a twister blows Dorothy from her Kansas home, she asks Glinda, the bright and sparkling “Good Witch of the North” how to return home. The answer, Glinda says, is with the Wizard in the Emerald City.

After outfitting Dorothy in uncomfortable red pumps (a.k.a. Ruby Slippers) she sends her off on uneven pavement (a.k.a. the Yellow Brick Road). Dorothy hikes all the way to the Emerald City, only to find that the “Great and Powerful Oz” is nothing but a fraud with a washed-up old carnival act.

In the end, the “good” witch tells her that she had the power all along and only had to click her heels together three times to magically return home. Turns out, that whole trip was a great big colossal waste of Dorothy’s time.

Remember this when you’re on the road this month, Taurus. If you must take a road trip, then check your tire tread, change your oil and update your AAA membership. Get good directions and take your time. Watch out for detours. Take the scenic route. And be sure the trip is absolutely necessary.

Drink a Tornado. That should take you over the rainbow. And watch out for flying monkeys. They’ll leave a nasty mess on your windshield.


June 2006

In a scene in the 1971 movie Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Wonka and his unsuspecting guests board a boat afloat on a river of chocolate. Soon things get a little weird and begin to resemble a bad LSD trip. With increasing insanity, Wonka madly recites this poem…

There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing!

Is it raining? Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a-blowing?
Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing!

Are the fires of hell a-glowing?
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes, the danger must be growing
'Cause the rowers keep on rowing!

And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing!

These days, you’re basking in the new attention. It’s like living in the Wonka Factory where life is a warm and gooey wet dream. I know you want the sinfully sweet Chocolate Martini, but haven’t you had enough? I recommend a Nutty Banana to remind you that while swimming in the sensuous river of chocolate, you’re bound to run into a few nuts.

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